Earlier this week I posted on Facebook that I felt I’d wasted my long weekend on movies and books instead of house cleaning, laundry, cooking and the garage renovation. Many of you (where ‘many’ equals two or three, which is always on my Facebook page) disagreed and usually I’d go with you on that, but y’all don’t know the dismal quality of movies I watched.
We started by cashing in our free on-demand movie rental on Dark Shadows. Now correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t that supposed to be a funny movie? The trailers were certainly funny. The cast had serious funny-potential. Sadly, the funniest part of the movie was the constant cuts to waves crashing on rocks, which are only funny if said cuts were spoofing similar cuts from the tv show. Can anyone help me out here?
Saturday we watched the new Karate Kid with the kids, which wasn’t so bad, but did Jackie Chan seem really old in this movie to anyone else?
Also on the Smallwood marquee this weekend:
The Grey, which had beautiful scenery and Liam Neeson, but was too depressing for words;
Crazy, Stupid Love, which was cute in places –specifically those in which the son pursues the babysitter, but I could not fall in love with this family and finally just wanted to yell ‘get it together already’ at the tv;
Black Swan, which was dark and depressing and dark and cold and dark and I’m-not-a-Natalie-Portman-fan and dark, but wasn’t Mila Kunis fun!;
Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows, which we rented on pay-per-view but then fell asleep during the first 10-15 minutes of watching and then forgot to watch again before rental expired so there’s that;
The Decoy Bride, a LMN/Hallmark Channel-type offering that was really kinda cute and may have been the best of the lineup; and
part four of Band of Brothers, which is masterful, compelling and probably going on my list for Santa.
I’m reading Jess Walter’s Beautiful Ruins right now and first rattle out of the box her protagonist says “it’s all kid stuff, all presold comic-book sequel 3-D CGI crap, all within a range of algorithmic box-office projections based on past-performance-trailer-poster-foreign-market-test-audience reaction. Movies are nothing more than concession-delivery now, ads for new toys, video game launches. Adults will wait three weeks to get a decent film on demand, or they’ll watch smart TV. … Film is dead.”
Is she right interwebs? Is there anything out there worth watching? Y’all share.