You may have noticed that when the kids started school earlier this week there was no mention of my class schedule. THAT’S BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE ONE; I’M FINISHED!!! I am now the official holder of a Bachelor’s of Applied Science (Cum Laude, if I may toot my own horn) with a major in Human Services. I’m done y’all!
And … it all seems a little anticlimactic. I have been so focused, so fixated, so driven, so compelled to finish my degree, that now that I have, I don’t know what to do with myself. Jack says I don’t have a sense of completion because I didn’t participate in graduation ceremonies, but we all know how I feel about those. We did attend the graduation banquet (no cookies, but they did have cheesecake!) and we’re having a party in my honor so how much more closure should a person need?
I think the crux of the matter is that other than a piece of paper, some yellow cords and a looming student loan, nothing much has changed. I don’t feel all that much more intelligent and my paycheck didn’t get any heavier. I’m still the same wife to Jack, the same parent to Thomas, Emma and Liz and the same supervision clerk to a myriad of people across Texas and New Mexico that I was before August 4th. I think any changes or growth in my wife/parenting-/supervision-styles that may have been triggered by my education, were probably made as I learned since I never stopped being any of those things while in school.
Don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying going back to school at 40 and earning a degree was not a good idea. It was and I’m very proud of my accomplishment. It’s just that after pushing and planning and straining and juggling for so long to get this done, now I feel a little blah about it. Ain’t life funny?