That Mom

I’m nervous this morning. The kids went back to school today. I didn’t realize how much stress school is causing us until I had to face sending them back. Most of it’s stuff that’s completely out of my hands: Thomas feels like he has to be class clown to have friends, Emma’s teacher doesn’t seem to like her, Liz’s class is full of those who attended the local private pre-school instead of the Head Start like she did, if you get my drift. I know in my heart that we have tried and will continue to try to raise our kids to be confident examples of Christ and that the traumas of today will be the funny memories of tomorrow. Still, every slight and dig and pathetic attempt hurts- both them and me.

And then there’s the stuff I do have a little control over: Thomas’s dyslexia accommodations, Emma’s homework assignments, etc. I’m a wuss. I don’t like to make waves. I don’t like to feel as if people are annoyed with me. I don’t want to be that mom. You know the one- loud, annoying, persistent, obtuse, the one that everyone dreads seeing. I don’t want to be that mom mostly because, as we’ve established, I’m a wuss, but also because I don’t want my children to be labeled and treated badly because I am that mom. On the other hand, I’m really tired of being nice. Nice is getting me nowhere. Nice is getting me pats on the head and I’m still that mom to some extent.

Bffw says take ‘em out. Homeschool. Skip the rhetoric and platitudes. Spare myself the drama and the trauma. And that’s great for her, but homeschooling has never interested me. Not even a little. Jack and I’ve talked about it as a last resort for Thomas, but only if the school can not or will not address his special needs.

My sister says go proactive and sue their butts. As an elementary principal, she’s very well versed in the ins and outs of the battles we’re fighting. She’s over hearing me whine about it all and thinks we should make them toe the line.

But I’m a wuss (and apparently a lazy one since I don’t want to homeschool). So I’m praying. And setting yet another meeting. And praying.

I’m praying I can be a good mama, that our kids are confident and feel safe in our love for them. I’m praying I can be the advocate that my children need. I’m praying for their teachers and for the administration. I’m praying a lot.

Am I the only one? Is there anyone else out there who is having to become that mom? Can the that mom’s of the world unite?

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4 thoughts on “That Mom

  1. We’ll keep praying. And you keep being “that mom” that we love and your children will be O.K. and will remember “that mom” forever.

  2. I am praying,” but man up and take em out,”
    God, giver of all wisdom and ability, let us have peace through accomplishment and make us a channel of peace to our children and to others (you teachers will only have peace if you take our children to the goals each child deserves and needs!)

  3. I really don’t think you are a “wuss” I just think that there comes a point when people are going to take advantage of certain situations because it benefits their agenda and not yours, and you have to stand and “fight!” I absolutely don’t want you to homeschool because I believe in public school education and want your children to experience school like we did growing up. I breaks my heart and makes me want to move them here to go to school because I know what a good public school is capable of. My school is not perfect and we need to do some work in our academic areas, but we are compassionate, we believe all kids can learn, and we try to stay on the forefront of educational research so that every student has an opportunity to learn to their fullest potential. Why shouldn’t every parent be expecting that from their child’s school? And why should any parent feel like “that mom” when they walk into their child’s school? Mom’s and Dad’s (sometimes grandparents) are the key to ANY child’s education. Wether through advocacy, participation or support if a child doesn’t have backup at home they will not succeed in the classroom. There are tons of research to prove it. What if when you advocate for your child and other students reap the benefit from it? What if those other children have no one to advocate for them? You have not only made a difference in your child’s life but in the lives of others.
    When is a good time to fight going to be more important than now? When is your fight going to make more of an impact? When will you feel more like “that mom” who stands up for every child that needs someone to help them grow to their fullest potential and become what the Lord created them to become?
    I love you and I know that you are ready and able to get done what needs to be done for these babies. They are worth it!!!!!!!!! This isn’t about image, opinion or feelings this is about what is right!
    You go girl, and call me if you want me to “go” with you!!

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