A Poem for My Husband

As poets go, I usually say no thank you. Poetry has just never been my thing. I’m not a deep thinker. I don’t usually get less than very obvious imagery. Which is why I love Ogden Nash.

Nash wrote such classics as the following verse from ‘I Yield to My Learned Brother or Is There a Candlestick Maker in the House?’

The doctor gets you when you’re born,
The preacher, when you marry,
And the lawyer lurks with costly clerks
If too much on you carry.
Professional men, they have no cares;
Whatever happens, they get theirs.

and this from ‘The Joyous Malingerer’

Stove-wise he’s the perpetual backward learner 
Who can’t turn on or off the proper burner. 
If faced with washing up he never gripes, 
But simply drops more dishes than he wipes. 
She finds his absence preferable to his aid, 
And thus all mealtime chores doth he evade.

So in honor of my Jack’s birthday today, I give him this love poem, written by Ogden Nash:

To My Valentine

More than a catbird hates a cat,
Or a criminal hates a clue,
Or the Iranians hate the United States,
That’s how much I love you.

I love you more than a duck can swim,
And more than a grapefruit squirts,
I love you more than a gin rummy is a bore,
And more than a toothache hurts.

As a shipwrecked sailor hates the sea,
Or a juggler hates a shove,
As a hostess detests unexpected guests,
That’s how much you I love.

I love you more than a wasp can sting,
And more than the subway jerks,
I love you as much as a beggar needs a crutch,
And more than a hangnail irks.

I swear to you by the stars above,
And below, if such there be,
As the High Court loathes perjurious oathes,
That’s how you’re loved by me.


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