Did I Do That?

Thomas is now officially grounded for fighting at school. I honestly think he was as surprised to find himself in that situation, as we were to hear about it. Is this normal? Do good boys get into fights? Do boys with good parents get into fights?

Parents have so much of their own baggage tied up in the actions/experiences of their children: memories of our own childhoods, advice and lessons for being a good parent and expectations for a better experience for our kids. Sometimes it’s really hard to remember that it’s not about us, but about our child and his or her journey. It’s also hard to remember that our job is not to make the journey easier, but to equip the child for any circumstance along the way.

As I said earlier, I know Thomas is a good kid. A great kid actually. I’m really very proud of him. I know that this is just a bump in his road, not a total course change. I know that we can weather this storm and come out the other side the better for it. I just want so badly to make it easy for him. For him to be happy and safe and confident and kind and well liked and well, you know, good. Pray for us.

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3 thoughts on “Did I Do That?

  1. I have a similar experience with my oldest child when he was in the 4th or 5th grade. The incident actually happened at church, but it was the climax to several encounters at school. My son’s comment was:”Dad, before I knew it my fist was in his face…” The other kid received a bloody nose, but he never picked on my boy again. As he grew older there was one more in high school, but I’ll save that one when the time is right.

  2. KC,
    I remember when my son was in the 4th grade, and he got IN SCHOOL SUSPENSION for fighting in the bathroom.
    I was horrified!!! What did this say about him? What did this say about his parents??? Would this go on the dreaded PERMANENT RECORD?
    Well, as it turned out, my son WAS fighting in the bathroom. He walked in on 3 older boys picking on a very weak classmate. He didn’t bother to take names, he just kicked butt.
    Although the principal agreed that Jeffrey’s motives were in the right place, the rules were the rules, and he must face the consequences for taking on those three bullies– uh, children. Jeffrey pointed out to me (in private) that if he’d gone to get a teacher, those kids would have had time to really hurt his classmate.
    I told Jeffrey to close his mouth and serve his “sentence…” and if he ever faced the same situation, where following the rules meant someone could be hurt worse than if he broke the rules, to use his best judgement– and expect to face the consequences again.
    Oh– and I told him I was proud of him.

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